I AM SEEING CLIENTS OVER THE INTERNET AND AM HAPPY TO RECEIVE NEW CLIENTS.
Welcome to my website. I have been offering counselling and psychotherapy in Wimbledon (SW19), South West and West London since 2000. I support women going through significant life changes e.g. trauma, bereavement, life-threatening illness, relationship issues and mid-life crisis. They often experience feelings of isolation, anger, guilt, shame, insecurity, anxiety and despair.
When my husband died of Parkinson’s Disease, it gave me a deeper insight into suffering, loss, grief and trauma. Together with further professional training, I learnt that we can still live well oscillating between grief and restoration work and I want that for my clients too. Bereavement and grief is such a misunderstood and inevitable life stage and because of this, I have started specialising in this area. I want my clients to feel heard and accepted and that what they are going through is normal. I want to help them make sense of what is happening to them and to encourage them to develop personally and spiritually. Very often, grief triggers past traumas and I have also retrained as a Trauma therapist and coach.
Sometimes, talking therapy is not enough. I provide tools e.g. guided meditations, hypnotherapy, dream analysis and resource materials to engage my clients in a variety of ways. I myself write poems as a way to articulate my own experiences.
Both my poetry book From The Heart and my late husband’s companion memoir Getting On Falling Off are available on Amazon.
In addition to counselling and psychotherapy, my services include:
- EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) Trauma Therapy
- Life Coaching
- 8 Week Mindfulness Courses
- Reiki Treatments
- Reiki Workshops.
Because of the pandemic, all my sessions are now online. I have actually been offering online counselling and coaching for the past 18 years in and beyond the UK via Whatsapp, FaceTime, Zoom, WeChat and SKYPE. A crisis means both danger and opportunity in Chinese. A breakdown can be a breakthrough. I continue to find ways to use the internet creatively with the support of guided meditations, empty chair conversations and EMDR tapping.
I see clients from 2 - 9 pm Monday through Thursday.
In the following pages, you will get to know who I am, how the different services can help you and how my clients and students benefited from them. Here is a taster of what each service offers and my clients' and students' experiences:
COUNSELLING AND PSYCHOTHERAPY
I offer Counselling and Psychotherapy to people going through significant life changes e.g. bereavement, divorce, separation, job loss, life-threatening illness, mid-life crisis, which result in feelings of aloneness, insecurity, desperation and depression.
Angel Sing, executive
Catherine McCarthy, teacher
For more information, please click here to visit my Counselling and Psychotherapy page.
EMDR is recognised by NICE (The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence) as the first treatment for those who suffer from PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) symptoms. Repeated studies have shown that by using EMDR therapy, clients experience the benefits that once took years of psychotherapy to make a difference.
The approach helps the brain reprocess and release distressing and traumatic memories frozen in the primitive / reptilian brain. Once the trauma is released from the body and the brain, you start to heal and discover your own inner resources and insights as to how you can live your life more fully.
During the recall of the traumatic event, you will receive bilateral stimulation in a rhythmic left-right pattern. Since all my work is now conducted online, the stimuli will be in the form of tapping movements on each of your thighs. I will synchronise your tapping with mine so you will be guided by the sound of my tapping.
For most clients a small number of sessions are offered. For those who have experienced very severe trauma, or more than one trauma, the therapy can last for a year or more.
I spent two sessions with Joyce preparing myself for the EMDR. On the third session when I described what happened when my father died, I started sobbing a lot and felt this heaviness and pain in different parts of my body. Joyce was comforting and reassuring. She knew when to say nothing and when to ask me questions and let me understand what was happening to me. Slowly, I found my recurring thought changed from ‘I am useless’ to ‘I feel guilty leaving my father to die.’ The guilt was terrible.
As Joyce continued tapping, I felt lighter and more relaxed and even ended with a smile towards the end. I started to realise that I don’t have to be constantly ‘useful’ to make me feel less bad, but to enjoy being my true self. I feel a heavy load being lifted.
Isa, assistant manager
I don't know how it works, but it certainly dismissed my feelings of anxiety surrounding some toxic familial relationships, resulting in a change in my attitudes both to the importance of events in the past, and to how I allow these to influence my behaviour as an adult.
I was able to access resolution from my own resources, giving me control and responsibility for my own improvement. This was a valuable experience, as, given the source of the presenting problems, taking responsibility was an essential aspect of healing and moving forward.
I developed insights into the sources of my own personality and reactions to situations, enabling me to deal with future challenges much more positively and confidently.
Anne Martin, teacher
8 WEEK MINDFULNESS COURSE
The 8 Week Mindfulness Course is based on three decades of scientific research and combines the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) course developed by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn with all that Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) has to offer.
My ability to recognise and handle my own stress improved vastly. Joyce patiently guided me through and helped me recognise old and stubborn patterns, and helped me find the skills and tools to change them. Her warmth and laughter are a joy, and I can safely say that my new mindful way of life has improved the quality of my life. I’ve successfully beaten my emotional eating habit, can manage pain through meditation and can’t stop telling everyone about it!
Shahnaz Chatterjee, trainer
When I started the 8 week course I felt my life was in chaos - I had just lost my job and I was moving out of my long term flat. The course required finding a little time each day for me to be calm and still and with the help of guidance tapes as necessary, to go through a routine of concentrating on my breathing. Simple really! I had never practised any form of meditation before so of course my mind constantly drifted away from the focus of my breath and my body.
The beauty of mindfulness however is there is no correct way of doing it; there is no success or failure. All that is required is to be aware and present and each time thoughts appear simply recognise them, welcome them and then let them go. Practising mindfulness on a daily basis is the key. My feelings of anger and frustration have not gone away but I now feel I have a technique to help me deal with them and in time I hope I will retrain my natural fight response to difficult situations to a more measured, less confrontational and less damaging response. Thank you, Joyce!
Dr. Jennifer Fallon, scientist
For more information, please click here to visit my 8 Week Mindfulness Course page.
Life Coaching is based on a working partnership between you and me to bring out the best in you. Since you are in a better position to know who you are and what you want from life, my role is hold up a clear mirror to you using my skills and experience.
Joyce used a number of exercises e.g. the funeral speech and values and needs exercise to make me aware of what was really important to me. By going through my values with Joyce and answering her thought provoking questions, I was able to find a way forward. I realised that if I were to spend more time on my relationship, I would have to sacrifice some things that were less important. I feel more prepared for what the future may bring and more ready to start a family.
Joyce is incredibly in tune with me and has a very creative, fluid coaching style which she is able adapt to her client's needs.
Joanne McDowell, counsellor and mentor
One of the issues Joyce was able to address with me was clarity, as regards clarifying my needs, values and vision. And she would remind me of them when I decided on new directions to take, be it personal or professional, and would challenge me when I was at odds with them.
Although Joyce always followed my agenda, there was something more purposeful about the journey I was in, whereas before there were lots of chaos and going around in circles. Sometimes, Joyce would remind me how far I have come by acknowledging my achievements.
Now that I am engaged to a lovely man, have a job as manager in Qantas and become an Aussie resident with my fiance, I often think of Joyce and how much she has helped me feel as happy as I am today. I would have no hesitation in recommending Joyce to anyone considering entering a coaching relationship.
Louise Raggett, psychologist and human factors specialist
For more information, please click here to visit my Life Coaching page.
REIKI COURSE and TREATMENT
Reiki is non-invasive, it complements all medical and natural treatments and it is safe and gentle. The beauty of reiki is its simplicity and, as Mrs. Takata, who brought reiki to the West, said: "Hands on, reiki on; hands off, reiki off!" Reiki is effective regardless of age, race, religion or belief system.
Joyce encourages her students, as she practises herself, to treat themselves every day. I follow this tradition and plan to start a practice in September. In the meantime, I also enjoy sending Reiki regularly with most successful results. Joyce's approach is absorbing, enlightening and inspiring. I found that, at the end of each day, I left with all the enthusiasm and joy of life. Joyce is a true aptronym and I have found my work with her transformational.
Aemelia Florence Sarto, Reiki Master, hypnotherapist, nutrition distributor
On a personal level, it has been a rewarding experience in witnessing my growing ability to intuitively connect to the pain of others and to heal.
Ahisma Sharma, psychologist
For more information, please click here to visit my Reiki page.
*Some names are changed to protect the identity of my clients / students.
I was born in HongKong and read Psychology and Sociology at university. After becoming a board director of a leading market research company in my thirties, I started to question who I was behind my role as a career woman, wife, daughter, sister, relative and friend.
From then on, I eased myself out of my old life and embarked on a personal and spiritual journey that proved to be both lonely and enriching.
Between 1995 and 2004 I qualified as:
an Accredited Counsellor/Psychotherapist (registered MBACP),
a Professional Certified Coach (PCC),
a Certified Hypnotherapist,
a Reiki Master (Usui Shiki Ryoho).
As I grow older, I realise that every life stage, difficult it may feel, is not wasted if we choose to learn from it.
THE STORY BEHIND THE NAME OF MY WEBSITE (jta36) AND EMAIL ADDRESS (jacetheace36)
MY BELIEF SYSTEM
I believe life is paradoxical.
I believe that only by fully exploring my belief system can I transcend it. I believe that not having a belief system can be as limiting as having a belief system.
I believe in a God who is all goodness, and I also believe that good and evil exist in our world. I believe that however much I try, God is a mystery and unknowable.
I believe in our innate strength, courage and spirit to overcome difficulties and to forge ahead. I also believe in the force in us to damage ourselves and others.
I believe we cannot do things alone. I believe in relationships. I also believe in giving space to myself and others.
I believe in the use of my self to help others, and because of that, I believe in constant attention to my personal and spiritual growth. I also believe in my own limitations.
I believe in love and awareness, through which we can at the very least escape from our demons. I also believe that sometimes, human love is not enough.
I believe in a holistic approach to assisting, and I believe I am only scraping at the surface.
I believe in honesty within myself, and sometimes, it is better to withhold my truths from others.
I believe it is important for you to know where I stand so we can both move from there and learn from each other.
I believe we can, like the LOTUS FLOWER, enjoy and thrive in this material world, and not be attached to and contaminated by it.
To be in this world, and not of this world. Can you?
I have died.
I have walked up to the water’s edge,
And felt death’s touch on my toes.
I have travelled near enough
To feel your breath on my cheeks,
To know again how it is to be loved,
To be the most important person to someone
But is still alive in me
I have died
To hold you alive in my heart.
I have missed you so,
My life review of our time together,
I watch more closely
Your every flaw, your intention, intelligence, wit.
Your love for me
You cried with me, talked about your hurt, your fears, your desires, dreams.
In a flash, they slip through my fingers.
I hold you still
In my death,
Sprinkled with the waves at the water’s edge.
You are mine,
from a Dark Night of the Soul
Dawn, stretching her sinuous body
Scattered rainbow hues
On an unsuspecting world.
While I was showering around eleven this morning,
A shaft of sunlight struck my face and these words came to me:
An angel of light, bursting through the storm clouds of despair,
Carries gently under her wings
The blessings of my twin sisters.
I love these nights
When silence awakes
And the world is mine
When the bed catapults me
To the desk across.
I love being here
On my friendly chair
By my faithful lamp
Scraping ink on paper
The old fashioned way.
I love the way my heart pours out
Creating words that
Nourish my soul.
I love my room
The heavy curtains
The singular dream catcher
The views of old Hanoi on the wall
A Christ or two
And my cat lapping away
Ready for sleep again.
In spite of
On the reiki bed
With my wandering mind,
The nectar of God’s love
In the hands
Of my students.
Here I am,
My mind full of lost souls,
My heart breaking into sad songs.
A word, a glance,
A human connection,
A subtle recognition of one
You talk of dreams,
Your pain, your dark secrets.
The little girl who longs for her daddy’s permission.
The father who lied about his affairs,
The mother who made herself a martyr,
Made you complicated.
I hate you, don’t leave me’.
We are more similar than our differences:
The human endeavour to love, be loved,
Lost in the sea of shoulds and musts,
Lost in the tide of shame and guilt.
We yearn for that knowing look, that faint smile,
That says: ‘I have been there.'
I get out of bed
Moved by the image of a
Crazed by the curse of unforgiveness:
'I killed my mother
Left her to die in agony
Now he chooses to suffer for his mother,
Tormented by the ghosts of evil creatures,
A hating god,
Pouring boiling water on his face,
Raping him, shitting on him,
He cannot sleep, cannot eat.
A husk of a soul,
In the emptiness of a hospital room.
I am alone with his terror,
I cannot reach him,
I cannot even reach myself,
Doubting how I could be of help,
How he could be helped.
Will a listening God listen?
Or has He gone out to lunch?
After the meal,
My husband left
A space for us to fill.
We poured over photos of youth,
Reminisced on ours,
And know our time has passed.
Photos of stunning young women,
Poised to conquer the world.
We want for them to embrace it as we did,
Wide-eyed innocence behind sophisticated masks.
We want for them to ride the highs and lows,
And dare to love and win and lose.
I want it for their sake
And for ours too.
For our time has passed
And our lives were full.
Now, we are invisible,
And wiser, more generous and sadder too.
For the time has come to mourn the loss
Of those who left us, and
The time has come for us and
So will for them too.
Today she crossed the line:
She was crass and pushy,
Not very likeable.
Proving what she secretly feared:
Wild and untameable,
Alienated and alienating,
She caused her mother grief,
She was never the good one,
The sociable one.
She found solace in make-believe,
She was the good one
The sociable one.
And now, the chink in her armour is revealed,
And she is learning to fail,
Undeserving into the grace of God.
I have not come so far,
To be dragged back
To a present that
Is an Illusion.
Perhaps it will be
Different this time?
Perhaps for now,
This is enough?
In the comfort of my serenity room,
Bathed in the softness of a setting sun,
You hurled invectives at me.
'What makes you better than me,
In your comfortable space,
Your comfortable chair?
You splatter me with your compassion,
You make me crawl and walk
Over hot coals for my salvation.'
Two vulnerable people,
One, offering the best of whom she is,
The other, his anguish.
I am tired and sleep escapes me,
Crowded by images of the other,
In a sacred space.
I could not breathe,
Attempting to be too clever with words.
My soul escaped to greener pastures
Wherein lay realness and honour.
We came to this space
Hoping to meet the other
On the soul level,
And yet, I still hid under the banner
Of the therapist’s imperative to be authentic.
I was not truly there,
Though I felt I was,
I was not truly naked,
Though I wish I were
So people can still love me
For who I am
And shame or perceived shame
Won’t rob me of myself.
I do not want to disappear,
I do not want to be miserable
I continue to long for God’s grace.
Let me understand you.
You talk in tongues,
A man born with an
Acute sense of observation and reasoning,
Straddling the inner and outside world,
A stranger to himself.
You spoke a language not your own
To communicate with others.
You feel a sense of duty
To serve the world with your gift.
You found a voice,
And realized too late it was not your own.
At the age of fifty,
You determined to
Not to sacrifice yourself anymore.
You started to speak in tongues again,
To find amidst them your own voice,
And resolve to find someone who could understand.
We are leaves from the same tree,
Torn asunder and scattered,
To the far reaches of the earth.
We find roots in lands familiar and alien,
Breathe a different air,
Learn a different language.
Plant a different tree in a different soil,
And long to return to the tree that is no more.
The clanging of the water pipes
Has its own rhythm
Which I know not.
In the midst of an unquiet night,
I pause and listen
And there is silence,
Only to be caught unawares
When I feel all is well and it
Rips my peace apart.
Such is the trickster in my mind
Harsh, unyielding, unremitting,
Clamouring for attention.
And as I near life’s journey end,
I pray for a God
Who will carry me home safely.
Arriving this morning at seven,
In the most prosaic surrounding,
Performing the most prosaic tasks,
I discovered candy floss clouds,
Flecked with bits of heaven
Outside my bathroom window.
Nature opened before me,
Tempting me to be still.
I gazed, stunned
By the majesty of the oak tree,
Stretching wing tipped leaves above,
The vines still jostling on the trellis wall,
And the leaves below
Suffused with red autumnal hues.
Summer is dying,
Giving way to my favourite month:
(After a reiki treatment)
When I disappear,
The pain that
Inhabits my body
And my emotions discover
A land of milk and honey,
And sweetness caresses my soul.
When I disappear,
The Heaven’s gates open,
And angels embrace me with silvery wings,
'You are loved
And loving is easy and natural.'
When I disappear,
I kiss mother earth and all that inhabits it.
Can you see
The glittering diamond of
A white-washed house,
Sparkling against the sulky sky?
Can you hear
The menacing whispers of
The skeletal trunk,
Threatening to pierce the courageous heart?
Can you spy
The turrets' shadows,
Looming over the cottage small?
Is it friend? Is it foe?
Can you trust
The beckoning light,
The promise of a welcoming hearth,
A haven for the weary soul?
This will fade.
The branches, stark naked,
Stretching upwards in supplication,
Will be clothed in tender baby leaves.
The sun, like a playful kitten,
Will peep out of the winter duvet
Of thought-leaden clouds.
This will fade.
And if I stride, stumble, run, dance, crawl, tip toe through life,
If I fail to notice, to realize
That this will pass,
I will have lost
WE ARE NOT PROBLEMS TO BE FIXED, BUT PEOPLE TO BE UNDERSTOOD (JCB)